Picture in your mind
a pebble hitting the water in a pond. See the splash it creates at the point of
impact. The splash, followed by a circular ripple is immediately visible, which
almost knocks a nearby little frog off its leaf. Then the ripple circles out
wider and wets a little beetle sitting on a rock. The poor beetle is
defenceless as it sits there, furiously trying to get its wings dry so it can
fly off. Watch the ripples as they circle out shallower and weaker until they
eventually diminish to nothing.
Now put yourself at
the splash-point, the centre of the ripples: Just like the frog had to endure the
strongest ripple, those closest to you will experience the effect of the
ripples emanating from you, most profoundly. Let’s examine the creatures in the
ponds of our lives and how our ripples affect them. You are at the centre of
the pond which is your life, which means that the first ripple must impact the
person closest to you – your partner (wife, girl-friend, life partner).
The next circles affected
by these ripples, are your kids, followed by close friends & family. Then
comes acquaintances & colleagues, followed by people you are familiar with
but don’t necessarily know well. After that it’s strangers you briefly
encounter like a check-out girl at the mall or waiter in a restaurant. The last
circle is people you don’t ever meet. “People I don’t ever meet? How will the
ripples I create affect them? I can understand how, if I had a bad day at work,
I could have a negative effect on my wife, kids, friends, family, colleagues
and even the poor check-out girl. But people I won’t ever meet?”
Unfortunately it is
true. Most people never realise that their actions can and will affect even
this group: that check-out girl has family and friendship circles of her own.
Your behaviour towards her can have far-reaching effects on those people in her
circles - people that you will never meet. So if you were rude to her because
you had a bad day, you may have given her a bad day at work too. Those
around her will definitely experience her ripples, even if your ripples started
it.
As you may have noticed, these circles I describe here
are occupied from the centre outwards by those we have the closest emotional
bonds with – these bonds have decreasing strength or priority as we move
further away from the centre. One fact which cannot be denied is that our
ripples affect everyone – from those we hold dearest to those we don’t even
know and will probably never meet. That’s quite a hefty responsibility right?
